When things start to die it's time to go back to your day job

growing out a pixie to a bob is the hardest thing to do ever.......

Being a teenager that is waaay mature for her age, I have seen things that are horrific. I understand them, and it is unsettling. I have seen people do things to themselves.
I have suffered with Body Dismorphic Disorder since I was six. I went into bad anorexia lapses starting in sixth grade. I nearly died before I began my eigth grade year. Being in and out of the hospital, undergoing test after test, has made me feel more like a guniea pig than a human. Having hair grow on your body as you pretty much start to decompose is horrific to experience. People see eating disorders as merely vanity, but it is so much more. Firstly, they are genetic and a traumatic experience can set them off, and that is what happened with me. I usued it as a form of suicide, distraction from severe depression that I never got help for, and a coping mechanism.
Since my worst relapse I have turned my life around. Being only fourteen I can say I have stared death in the face for several reasons. There are many people who have begun to overcome their demons of anorexia and other eating disorders. The growth process is something strange that I have experienced. Getting over anorexia and getting back to a normal weight range is scary enough, but hitting puberty is by far the scarriest thing ever. I'm not going to be creepy and go in depth, but I feel the need to talk about this. When you're so underweight and you have the body of a 9 year old boy any hopes of femininity are gone. Hair grows on your body, you do not have your period, no breasts. Everything your 'normal' girl friends have you do not. I felt isolated and saddened by feeling genderless. I was not a girl, I was not sexy, I had no confidence, no body, no shape. I could barely function, so hopes of feeling even 'cute' were stupid. Recently I have begun to 'develop' and it is a scary experience. I feel like hundreds of girls in recovery feel alone when this starts to happen. Gaining weight is the scariest thing I've ever delt with. But I have never felt better in my life. I feel like I belong somewhere, like a girl. Never have I felt like a girl. It is liberating. Do not be afraid when you start to become average again, it is so much better than anything. Gaining a sense of femininity that i had NEVER ever felt was so amazing. Confidence and strength. I never thought I could be confident and strong and feminine and cute. Recovery has helped me get my life back. I am no longer suffering with intense loathing or depression for the lack of placement I had. I hope this helps people going through the same thing. Thank you for reading.

I am in love with them!!!!!!!!
And nothing in this set is coherent. Oh well..

sorry that it's a little late!

Hi again. It's been a while haha, sorry. Life, pshh. Ehhhhhhh, life. It hates me.
Current listen: The Antlers, Putting the Dog to Sleep
Current action: drinking tea, on tumblr, bleaching my hur

Rule 1: Always post the rules
Rule 2: Answer the questions the person who tagged you has written and write 11 new ones.
Rule 3: Tag 11 new people.

New questions:
1. What is your name? Alice Peri
2. Where do you live? In the darkest corners of the universe where most people's subconscience dwells
3. Which season do you like the most? All of them. I get bored of winter though
4. What is your favorite piece of clothing? that's a loaded question
5. Choose one place you would like to visit. London, where I was born
6. What was the last book you read? The Bell Jar, it was fantastic
7. Would you rather be blind or deaf? I'd rather be dead than not be able to enjoy the splendors that life has to offer
8. Which celebrity's style would you like to have? Audrey Kitching, Grimes, Chloe Norgaard or Nastya Kusakina
9. How old are you? 15
10. What is your dream job? To be a musician or an artist, just to create my visions
11. What color is your hair? Red, but it's fading to a peach color

New questions:
1. Do you believe in ghosts?
2. Have you ever lied to yourself(oooh soul searching question)
3. Who is the last person you held?
4. Have you ever felt love?
5. Do you wonder what it's like to die?
6. Most worn item in your wardrobe?
7. The color you wish your hair was?
8. Coffee or tea?
9. Your thoughts on vegetarianism?
10. Where were you born?
11. 3 places you'd like to visit most?
 
I TAG:
@beeanchorr
@pigybacker
@w0lf-teeth
@m-e-r-m-a-i-d
@rachelaurore
@rainbowrocker
@teenagewasteland
@i-love-stan-the-man
@skeletondance
@kevlartunga
@almoghatouel

I'm boreeeeeeddddddd and lusting for spring. I like tea. On a side note I'm fading my vampire red hair to a pastel pink for spring. On another side note, it's not fading.